Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's
personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they
concurred on almost all counts.
The results:
Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the behind
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste;
knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll
send YOU a drink..........................
Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with
friends.
Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she
has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy
target.
Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get
totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to
do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!
Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.
THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----
The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:
Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to
help him get laid.
Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.
Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.
White Zinfandel: He's queer
"You are Citadel Men, you have no pension for failure, you wear the Ring, you never let a friend down, you will be good fathers, husbands, and leaders in the armed forces and industry, you are strong in heart, body, and mind. You protect such things as Honor and Fidelity. Your virtues matter not only in wealth, but in the richness of family, you are the last of the knights."
- late President Ronald Reagan
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